Laying it Down

After listening the other night to a talk that Rick Warren gave to TED, I returned to Exodus chapter 4, the story of Moses' "commissioning" by God, to re-read it for myself. Something that Rick said about Moses' reaction to the call struck a chord with me.  I now realize that God has been dealing with me in much the same way that he did with Moses. Yahweh had asked Moses to lay down his staff...the symbol of his life as a shepherd and the instrument of his livelihood.  Sixteen months ago I was asked to step down from a leadership position that I loved and thrived on, to lay down the staff, as it were.  For a long time I was very hurt and angry and the first year away from those responsibilities has been very difficult for me both spiritually and emotionally. 

In retrospect,  I understand now that I had viewed this as a personal failure and a rejection of my leadership abilities and true calling. A lot of my self-worth was mistakenly wrapped up in that position and responsibility. Much of the performance and failure angst that I had been experiencing these last months was directly related to that brokenness.  I was unwilling to lay down the staff, or when asked, to pick up the snake it had become.  Like Moses, I reacted reluctantly out of fear instead of confidence in the Lord's wisdom, provision and plan.  

However, God was waiting patiently for my obedience and complete surrender.   As I have learned to lay it all down at the feet of the cross, some amazing things are beginning to happen in our life in Squamish and the ministry that God has called us to.  Why is it, I wonder, that it we have to experience so much pain before we learn what should be a simple lesson?  God really does know best! He really does, as Jeremiah tells us, have a plan to bless us and not to harm, to give us a hope and a future.  


Please take some time to re-read Exodus 3 & 4.  Ask yourself if there is something in your hand the God has been asking you to lay down so that he can put something else in it.  Then have the courage, even in the midst of fear and trepidation, to take that first step and say..."Not my will, but thine....oh Lord."